For someone like me who forgot to get midnight tickets and isn't seeing The Dark Knight Rises until Tuesday, the world has become a harrowing place. Everyone has already seen it, and Twitter is a veritable minefield. Since Friday it's felt like I've been playing a big game of five finger filet – the danger is imminent and palpable. But because I'm determined to see the movie with completely fresh eyes, here are the insane steps I took to avoid Dark knight Rises spoilers.